My adult child lives with me, but I want him to move out
It is increasingly common for an adult son or daughter to continue living with a parent, or to return to the family home after having lived independently. The arrangement may begin as a temporary solution while the adult child studies, looks for work, deals with financial difficulties, separates from a partner, or tries to save money.
Sometimes, however, the arrangement stops working. The parent may want to regain privacy, sell the property, move to a smaller home, live with a new partner, or simply bring an arrangement that was supposed to be temporary to an end.
This can lead to a difficult question: if my adult child lives with me in Quebec, can I make him or her move out?
The answer depends on the legal nature of the arrangement. An adult child does not automatically acquire a permanent right to remain in a parent’s home simply because of the parent-child relationship. At the same time, a parent should be careful before changing the locks, removing belongings, cutting off access to the home, or otherwise attempting to force an adult child out without first determining whether the child may have legal rights associated with occupancy.
Living with a parent does not automatically create a lease
One of the first questions is whether the adult child is simply being permitted to live in the home or whether the arrangement has characteristics of a residential lease.
Many adult children live with their parents informally. There may be no written agreement, no fixed term, and no rent. The child may occasionally contribute to groceries, utilities, property expenses or household costs. Such contributions do not necessarily mean that the adult child has become a tenant.
The situation can be different when there is a genuine rental arrangement. For example, an adult son or daughter may occupy a separate apartment belonging to a parent and pay regular rent under an agreement. Even without a formal written lease, the circumstances may sometimes raise questions about whether a landlord-tenant relationship exists.
The distinction matters because residential tenancy rules can significantly affect how occupancy may be terminated.
Does paying money to a parent give an adult child the right to stay?
Not necessarily.
Families frequently share expenses without intending to create legal relationships comparable to those between unrelated landlords and tenants. An adult child might give a parent a monthly amount toward groceries, electricity, internet, mortgage expenses or general household costs.
The fact that money changes hands is therefore relevant, but it is not necessarily decisive.
The overall arrangement should be considered. Relevant circumstances may include whether a specific amount was described as rent, whether payments were regular, whether the adult child occupies a separate dwelling or merely a bedroom, whether the parties agreed on how long the arrangement would last, and how both sides understood the arrangement.
A parent who wants an adult child to leave should therefore avoid assuming either that payment automatically creates a lease or that the absence of a written lease automatically means that no occupancy rights exist.
Can a parent simply tell an adult son or daughter to leave?
When an adult child is living in the parent’s home only with the parent’s permission and there is no applicable lease or other independent legal right to occupy the property, that permission will generally not have to continue indefinitely.
However, ending permission to live in the home and physically removing someone from the home are different matters.
A clear written notice asking the adult child to leave by a reasonable date can help establish that the parent’s permission to occupy the property has ended. The appropriate amount of notice will depend on the circumstances, including the nature and duration of the arrangement and any agreements between the parent and child.
Written communication can also prevent later disagreements about whether the child was actually asked to leave and what deadline was given.
What if my adult child refuses to move out?
This is often where a family disagreement becomes a legal dispute.
An adult child may argue that the parent previously promised that he or she could remain in the home, that rent has been paid, that significant money was invested in the property, or that another agreement gives the child a right to remain.
The parent may instead maintain that the child was only temporarily accommodated and was never given a permanent or independent right to occupy the property.
If the adult child refuses to leave after permission to remain has been clearly withdrawn, it may become necessary to obtain a legal remedy rather than attempt a physical eviction. Which process is appropriate depends particularly on whether the dispute involves a residential lease or another form of occupancy.
Changing the locks can create additional problems
A frustrated parent may be tempted to wait until the adult child leaves the house, change the locks and put the child’s belongings outside.
That approach can be risky.
If there is a genuine dispute concerning the child’s right to occupy the premises, taking unilateral measures can create additional claims and unnecessarily escalate the conflict. The same caution applies to disposing of the child’s belongings, shutting off utilities, physically preventing access, or using threats to force the child to leave.
Where voluntary departure cannot be arranged, obtaining the appropriate legal remedy is generally safer than trying to create a forced eviction without legal authorization.
What if the house belongs entirely to the parent?
Ownership is extremely important, but it may not answer every question.
If the parent is the sole owner of the home, the adult child does not become an owner merely because he or she has lived there for many years. A long period of residence does not, by itself, transfer ownership.
However, separate property claims can sometimes arise. An adult child might allege, for example, that substantial amounts were paid toward renovations, construction, the mortgage, or improvements to the property under circumstances that created rights beyond simple occupancy.
Such claims are highly dependent on the facts and should be distinguished from the basic question of whether the adult child can continue living in the home.
What if the adult child has nowhere else to go?
This is understandably one of the most difficult aspects of the situation.
An adult child’s financial difficulties or inability to immediately find another residence do not necessarily create a permanent right to occupy a parent’s property. However, family obligations can sometimes complicate the analysis.
In Quebec, reaching adulthood does not automatically eliminate every possible support obligation between parents and children. In appropriate circumstances, an adult child who cannot provide for his or her own needs may still have a claim for financial support.
A potential support obligation and a right to occupy a particular house are not necessarily the same thing. Even where some form of support may be owed, this does not automatically mean that the adult child can insist on continuing to live indefinitely in the parent’s home.
This distinction can be especially important where the adult child is studying, has a disability, is unable to work, or remains financially dependent.
What if my adult child is abusive, threatening or violent?
A different approach may be necessary where the issue is not simply that the parent wants the adult child to become independent.
Threats, intimidation, harassment, destruction of property, financial exploitation or physical violence can raise immediate safety concerns. A parent does not necessarily have to treat a dangerous situation as an ordinary family disagreement about moving out.
Depending on the circumstances, protective measures and urgent legal remedies may be available. Where there is an immediate danger, personal safety should take priority over the ordinary process of negotiating a departure date.
Special concerns can also arise when an elderly or otherwise vulnerable parent is being pressured by an adult child who lives in the home, particularly where the child controls finances, restricts the parent’s communications, or attempts to prevent the parent from making independent decisions concerning the property.
What if the other parent says the child can stay?
The situation can become more complicated when the property belongs to both parents or when another person has legal rights in the home.
One parent may want the adult child to leave while the other wants the child to remain. In that situation, the issue may involve not only the adult child’s occupancy but also the respective rights of the owners or occupants of the property.
Before attempting to exclude the adult child, it is important to determine who owns the property and whether anyone else has the legal authority to permit the child to occupy it.
What happens to the adult child’s belongings?
Moving out does not always mean that every possession disappears on the same day.
Furniture, clothing, documents, vehicles, tools and other personal property may remain behind. A parent should be cautious about simply throwing away, selling or giving away belongings that clearly belong to the adult child.
A written arrangement can specify when the child must leave, when remaining belongings must be collected, how access for collection will occur and what will happen if property is not retrieved within the agreed period.
Creating a record of communications and, where appropriate, an inventory of significant belongings can help reduce later disputes.
A written agreement may avoid court proceedings
Not every dispute between a parent and an adult child needs to become litigation.
Where communication remains possible, the parties can agree on a departure date and practical conditions. The agreement might address temporary contributions to household expenses, the return of keys, removal of personal belongings, access for movers, outstanding money between the parties and the condition in which the occupied space will be left.
The agreement should be clear enough that both sides understand that the permission to live in the property ends on a particular date.
For some families, providing a realistic transition period is more effective than demanding an immediate departure. The objective is to turn an uncertain living arrangement into a defined exit plan.
The legal status of the arrangement should be determined first
When a parent says, “My adult son lives with me and I want him to move out,” or “My adult daughter refuses to leave my house,” the family relationship is only part of the legal analysis.
The key questions are usually more practical:
Who owns or legally occupies the property?
Does the adult child pay rent or merely contribute to household expenses?
Is there a written or verbal agreement?
Does the child occupy a separate dwelling or share the parent’s living space?
Was the arrangement intended to be temporary?
Has the parent clearly withdrawn permission for the child to remain?
Does the adult child claim an ownership, financial or other right in the property?
Is there a possible support obligation?
Are there concerns about threats, violence, exploitation or the parent’s vulnerability?
Once these questions are answered, it becomes much easier to determine the appropriate way to end the arrangement.
An adult child living at home does not automatically have a permanent right to stay
Family relationships can make this issue emotionally difficult, but adulthood matters legally. A parent who allows an adult son or daughter to live at home does not, merely by doing so, necessarily give that child a lifelong right to occupy the property.
At the same time, the parent-child relationship does not justify ignoring legal rights that may arise from a lease, property agreement, financial arrangement or other particular circumstances.
For that reason, the safest approach is usually to identify the legal nature of the occupancy, communicate clearly that the arrangement is ending, provide an appropriate opportunity to leave voluntarily and use the proper legal process if the adult child refuses to move out.
The central question is not simply whether a parent can ask an adult child to leave. In most disputes, the more important question is how the child’s occupancy was legally structured and what process must be followed to bring it to an end.
This text is provided for legal information purposes only. If you have a specific question regarding your personal situation, please contact a lawyer.
Allen Madelin Avocats offer consultations both in person and via videoconference. The first consultation is offered for $125.For more information, please contact us by telephone: 1 514 904 4017 or by e-mail: [email protected].
