When parents split, it is hard enough on their child already. But there is more to come: a custody fight. If a child is 12 years old or more, he(she) becomes directly involved, as both parents try to get this child on their side. But even if the child is younger than 12, family psychological atmosphere might become intolerable.
Of course, there are wise parents who keep their children away from conflict, but quite the opposite situations are not uncommon.
Who will be the one?
Strictly speaking, we now call it “parenting time” instead of “custody”, at least when it comes to litigation under the newly updated Divorce Act. The idea is to show that there is no “second-rate” parent and each one plays a significant role in the child’s life.
But this change of words does not alter the nature of the problem. Discussion between divorcing spouses about which parent will be the primary caregiver and a decision-maker for the children (and a support payments receiver as well usually) mutates into a legal battle much more often than everyone would prefer.
Facts are misinterpreted, words are stretched, friends’ and relatives’ testimonies are solicited, psychosocial experts are welcomed and cursed depending on the recommendations issued. Occasional drinking is presented as an abuse problem, accusations of violence come and go, sensitive health issues brought public, children are scolded and bribed, taken abroad, income is being hidden, privacy is ruined — deep darkness gets loose, everything — to win. It’s not a secret that in the rage of a battle a parent often forgets about the children’s interest (or, safer to say, thinks that what is good for him(her) is automatically good for the children too). In situations of particular hostility, using child custody fight to get to each other’s throat becomes a sad yet not uncommon strategy. In a grave scenario, a Youth Protection might interfere, removing the children from their parents.
And lawyers are all involved in those fights. Some parents knowingly look for an aggressive custody lawyer, as the goal is to make the ex-spouse’s life miserable — much more than to keep the children safe and happy.
Your Child custody lawyer in Montreal
Montreal, being a big city, faces a lot of stories like that, unfortunately. Lawyers are plenty, aggressive or more rational, and family mediators are available. Often, the most reasonable way to use your child custody lawyer is to get him(her) as a shied against the emotions of the other party and as a filter for your own emotions. Ideally, the spouses’ lawyers should be able to discuss factual needs and interests of the children as well as the rights and obligations of the parents, based on legal rules, accepted facts, common sense and recommendations of the specialists involved. The result of such a discussion, presented to their clients, should normally reflect the reality and provide grounds for an acceptable compromise in the name of the child’s best interest. Yet, it happens a lot that the lawyers become new oil in this fire.
Fortunately, the choice in Montreal is almost infinite, and with certain meticulous diligent one can find a suitable lawyer, a mutually acceptable mediator and, if necessary, a skilled and experienced psychologist.
Allen Madelin Lawyers provide consultations and representation in family law cases. In need, please contact us by phone: 1 514 904 4017 or by email: [email protected].
